I must be the proudest mom in the world!! My son has just won The Most Entertaining Singer at a local music festival - the judges 3 major West End Theatre Names. How totally, totally wonderful to have others verify that the voice I hear everyday is beautiful.
At the end of the evening when all the excitement had died down and my star was asleep, I could not rest. I could not even think. I was numb. Not in a negative way but in a reassessment way. Up until this point our lives have been on of survival, success being making it to the end of the day. We have lived in the moment, dealing with events as they arise, battling with RAD, struggling with emotions and behaviour, reaffirming stability and security.
And suddenly, the doors of the future have been swung open. The challenge has begun. One of the major reasons for adoption is to give a child a chance to fulfil his or her potential. Now, much sooner than I anticipated, my son has shown his potential - it is now my job to help him fulfil it.
So with happy numbness I have to reassess my role. The gauntlet has been thrown and I cannot mess up. I have to direct this beautiful talent in the right direction, I need to ensure that I do the best for him, and it is now not in my hands - his talent will flourish in the hands of others and it is my task to find who are the right others. I hope I do the right thing.
And in the quiet moments, I feel a little sad, a little sad because children grow up much quicker then we ever wish for.
For more about international adoption see www.internationaladoptionguide.co.uk