My little boy is sick today and it is a rare occassion that we are homebound and together for the entire day. One has no choice in these situation's to just let everything 'that has to be done' go, and enjoy the time together.
One thing with not doing 101 things, is that events have a chance to percolate and one has the chance to reflect rather than act. And whilst I was making soup for dinner, I started to think about the lovely meeting that I had on Tuesday. TO had called me up out of the blue to talk about wanting to help people adopt. She arrived with two beautiful books of her two children's life stories - one when they were in Russia during the adoption process and the second one, the past 4 years which have seen her two girls bloom and flourish. It was beautiful. Looking at the children's happy faces and knowing that their lives will forever be different. Their lives now have hope and potential.
Mama was so proud of her two daughters and the progress that they have made and that is what life is about - being a son or a daughter and making your parents proud. An organisation that I have recently come across, wants 'every child to be a son or a daughter', and that is such a beautiful way of putting things - as a son or a daughter you have a position, you have a place and you have a sense of belonging. This sense of belonging is what international adoption gives to children growing up in the world without parental care.
For all the negative press that surrounds international adoption, and I have to be honest, I have recently turned a blind eye to it all as I find it all overwhelming and biased, scary and unrealistic, nothing gives a child a sense of self then belonging in a family. Adoption is hard and there are many issues but when you strip it all down to its bare essentials, the creation of a relationship between a parent and a child is something that nothing else can replace. When I sit and talk with my son about everything (he has an incredible curiosity of the world), I know that what he is learning at my knee are the tools that will guide him and steer him in his adult life. And that is why adoption is so important. As a son he is learning from a parent. He is learning what is right, what is wrong. He is learning about my values and challenging others, he is finding his place in the world, he is exploring his barriers and he is learning about himself. I, hopefully, am giving him the grounding for a positive and healthy self-image, an identity that will shape his thinking and give him a place in the world.
So when TO and I sat back with a satisfied and joyful smile, nothing needed to be said. We are drawn together, in the knowledge that we hold in our lives something so precious and so awesome, that words are not needed. We share a bond, that of being unexpected parents to beautiful children that neither of us dared hope for. And we have given our children a role - that of a son or a daughter. What a gift - we are all Blessed.